Article #61

something in todays portion of chumash

tuesday parshas shemos the 14^th of teves 5774 dec 17^th 2013 3.25pm now I will admit that I am not a tzadik.yes I have done many things that I was not supposed to do & I am very far from a tzadik but I just want to speak about something that is in todays portion of chumash.

In todays portion of chumash it speaks about how moshe rabeinu saw dathan & aviram arguing & he said to the rosho lomo sakeh reacho.now it says that he didn,t even hit the person.he just picked up his hand to hit the person & that alone made him a rosho.now this shows that if you pick up your hand to hit somebody even if you don,t hit him that alone makes makes you rosho.which means that if somebody threatens to touch me just by threatening to touch me that alone makes him a rosho.

Now I don,t like to embarrass people & because of that I am not going to say his name but even though I am not going to say his name everybody is going to know who this person is that I am talking about.even though I am not going to say his name everybody is going to know who this person is that I am talking about.

now I am not going to say his name(because I don,t like to embarrass people)& because I am not going to say his name the name that I am going to give him is the name david.really his name is not david but since I don,t want to give his name that,s the reason why I am giving him the name david.now I will tell you what it,s all about.

this guy david he has used his hands on me & beaten me up twice already.now some of my friends have been telling me that david is right for attacking me & beating me up because I molested one of his relatives.they are telling me things that because of statue of limitations david is very upset that I was never prosecuted or even arrested for what I did to one of his relatives & if it would have been within the statue of limitations I would have spent 30 years behind bars & the reason why david is not attacking or beating up any of the other people on JCW(jewish community watch)is because even though the other 46 on JCW did the same thing that I did they did not molest any of davids relatives & I am the only one from the 47 on JCW that molested one of davids relatives.these friends of mine are telling me that david is right for attacking me & beating me up & if I would have molested one of the relatives of these friends of mine then they would have atacked me & beaten me up the same way that david did it to me.this is what some of my friends are telling me.

Now I have many different answers to this.i am telling you I have many different answers to this & I will tell you what it,s all about

1)almost 11 years ago when I was 36 years old I tried having my father locked up in jail for the abuse that he did to me but since I was 36 I was also too old to press charges against my father(i know I look younger but I am 47 years old now)so speaking about statue of limitations for what I once did to kids i have a statue of limitations against my father too.plus

2)when I did it I was very depressed I didn,t realize how serious it is & I didn,t mean any harm but when my father abused me he knew that this was going to mess up my life & my father does not suffer from the kind of depression that I suffer from.plus

3)all of those that I molested I am really sorry for what I did & I asked mechilah from all those that I molested but my father shows absolutely no remorse for what he has done to me.plus

4)speaking about statue of limitations everything that I spoke about in article #46 happens to be in my favor & if I would have been arrested for what I once did to kids I would have spoken to my lawyer about everything that I spoke about in article #46.i don,t know how much time I would have spent behind bars but I don,t think that it would have been for 30 years like some people are telling me.plus

5)i am the only one from the 47 on JCW that was attacked & beaten up for what I once did to kids.the other 46 on JCW the ones that they molested none of the realtives of the ones that the other 46 molested attacked & beat them up for it.if david is right for attacking me & beating me up then how come the other 46 on JCW were not attacked & beaten up by the relatives of those that they molested?

6)all those that are against me for what I once did to kids if I am such a terrible person then why don,t you go to article #46 read everything that I spoke about there in article #46 & give me an answer to what I spoke about there.i mean if I am such a terrible person then why don,t you give me answer to what I spoke about there.all the people that are against me for what I once did to kids not one of them was able to give me an answer to what I spoke about there in article #46.i mean if I am such a terrible person then why don,t you give me an answer to what I spoke about in article #46?because if I would have been arrested fore what I once did to kids I would have spoken to my lawyer about everything that I spoke about in article #46.i am telling you if I would have been arrested I would have spoken to my lawyer about everything that I spoke about in article #46.plus

7)every person no matter what kind of a criminal record he has even somebody that has been arrested 50 million times yes even somebody that has been arrested 50 million times every person has the right to go to the police & ask the police to protect him from somebody that is threatening to touch him.plus

8)like I said several friends of mine have told me that david is right for attacking me & beating me up because I molested one of his relatives & they would have done the same thing to me if I would have molested one of their relatives.but here is the thing.if they would decide to attack me & beat me up for molesting one of their relatives would they do it every time they see me in the street?i don,t think so.they would probably attack me & beat me up once & then not bother me again after that.ok david attacked me & beat me up twice already.don,t you think that it,s about time that I should have the right to tell david to stay away from me & not harras me anymore?i mean he did it to me twice already I think it,s about time that I should have the right to tell him to stay away from me & not harrass me anymore.I am telling you from the 2 times that david has attacked me & beaten me up I learned my lesson not to do what I once did to kids.i am going to remember it for the rest of my life & this is more than enough for me to learn not to do something like that again.

I stopped doing this over 9 years ago in 2004.until 9 years ago 2004 I used to go to every single sholom zochor in crown heights regardless of weather I knew the family or not.since 2004 I only go if I know the family & good friends with the family & I have been doing this for over 9 years already.

Now when I used to go to every sholom zochor in crown heights the reason I went was so that I can get to know a lot of families that way & find the right family to go to for help.& that,s the reason why I did it.what was I supposed to do?i was very depressed so I decided to go to sholom zochors get to know a lot of families that way & find the right family to go to for help then after I became friends with the family I would go ahead & molest the kids of the families that I became friends with & that,s how I got myself into the mess that I am in right now.

Now if you go to article #58 I spoke about it over there about everything that my family did to me that caused me to close off my relationship with them & find other families to go to for help.i mean I was forced to close off the relationship with my family & find other families to go to for help & that,s how I got myself into this mess now.

I do agree that what I did was very bad & I really was not supposed to do that but just because I did that that,s not a reason for anybody to use their hands on me & beat be up just because I did something like that.

I am not asking meir seewald to remove me from his site.even though at one time I did ask him to remove me from his site I am not asking him to do it.

I am not asking anybody to let me go near their children.anybody who feels that I am a threat to little kids is doing the right thing not letting me go near them.

I am not asking anybody to be my friend.anybody who feels that I am not the right person to be friends with & they don,t want to have anything to do with me that,s fine & I have nothing against you for it.

this is a free country & you have the right to decide who you want to be friends with & who you do not want to be friends with & if you feel that I am not the right person to be friends with that,s fine & I have nothing against you for it & to the person that I bothered 2 weeks ago I am sorry for doing that & it,s not going to happen again.

Now there is something that I need everybody in crown heights to do this for me.if I go to a simcha & somebody from the family doesn,t want me there I do not want anybody from the family to come over to me & ask me to leave.what the family should do then is call the police & have the police escort me out.just dial 911 & say that there is somebody over here & you don,t want him here & have the police escort me out.the reason is because I get very frightened whenever somebody from the family asks me to leave.whenever somebody from the family asks me to leave I get very frightened whenever that happens.& that,s the reason why I need the police to escort me out.there have been many times that I did not go to a simcha because I knew that somebody from the family didn,t want me there but sometimes I go to a simcha thinking that everybody from the family wants me there & when I get there I find out that the family doesn,t want me there & they make leave.i understand that.i went to a simcha where the family doesn,t want me there & when I get there they make me leave.i understand that.the only thing is that I get very frightened whenever somebody from the family comes over to me & asks me to leave that,s the reason why I need it done this way.when you call the cops if they ask you why you won,t just come over to me & make me leave yourself you tell the them(the 911 operator)that I get very frightened whenever somebody from the family asks me to leave & that I need it done this way(tell that to the 911 operator).this doesn,t happen too often but sometimes I go to a simcha thinking that everybody in the family will be happy to see me there & when I get there I find out that the family doesn,t want me there & they make me leave.the only thing is that I get very frightened whenever the family asks me to leave & that,s the reason why I need it done this way.this is only for the rare time that I go to a simcha thinking that everybody in the family will be happy to see me there & when I get there I find out that the family doesn,t want me there.

Menachem piekarski

Article #60

I am sorry

tuesday dec 3^rd 2013 the 7^th night of chanukah 10.35pm today I went over to somebody I was going to ask him if he can do something for me.before I even had a chance to tell him what I need from him he got very angry at me & he was really going to give it to me just for trying to ask him if he can do something for me.

Now when I went over to him I did not know that he was going to get so angry like that.i thought that he was going to let me talk to him.i wasn,t sure if he was going to do what I needed from him but I didn,t know that he was going to get so angry like that just for aproaching him & try to ask him for something.

When he saw that I was aproaching him before I even had a chance to tell him what I need from him he was already after me ready to really give it to me before I even had a chance to tell him what I need from him.

Now this person that I went to yes I knew that he has a bad relationship with me yes I knew that but I didn,t know that he was going to get so angry like that just for aproaching him to ask him for something.

If I would have known that he was going to get so angry like that I would not have gone over to him.i didn,t know that he was going to get so angry like that.i knew that he had a bad relationship with me but I didn,t think that he was going to get so angry like that just for going over to him & asking him if he can do something for me.

Anyways to the person that I went to today to ask him if he can do something for me I didn,t know that he was going to get so angry at me just for aproaching him like that I am sorry for doing it & it,s not going to happen again.you didn,t have to get so angry like that.all you had to do was say that you don,t want me coming near you & that you want me staying away from you & I would have listened to you if you would have said just that to me.you didn,t have to get so angry at me just for aproaching you & asking you if you can do something for me.anyways I am sorry for doing that & it,s not going to happen again.

Menachem piekarski.